A Doctor's Lesson

“Since I am your host,” the Doctor said from his place at the head of the lavish dinner table,              ``will you allow me to share a most educational story?” he looked around the large dining hall in his home as he deliberately placed a full glass of red wine to his lips. He dined with two colleagues, doctors from a hospital he owned, and their wives. Effectively he was their boss, but Nicholas was an old friend; they had studied medicine together in London and he now sat to his right with his wife Dana and lovely daughter Ana beside them. On the other side of the table was Dr Danworth, a spectacled and hawkish looking man who had only been at the hospital for a year and was now passing a bowl of soup to his young daughter Jane who sat across from his quiet and irritably shy wife Isabella. The Doctor’s own wife and son Adam sat beside him to the left as was their custom, preceding the Danworths.

“I will pose a question first,” and he pleasantly noticed his own wife’s expression change as she recognized a serious conversation at the outset. She knows me so well, he thought. “What do you know of that can push a man to the highest peaks of achievement and bring him all the way down again?” he paused and glanced at his only son Adam who sat propped up on a child’s chair next to his mother, wishing no such luck on those he held dear. He was a boy still, only just beginning to grow into his teenage years and looked on with all the innocence of youth. “What do you know of that can drive a perfectly normal man to the very edge of insanity, or cause a man to throw away everything he has worked for just like that,” and he clicked his fingers together, creating a crisp echo in the dining hall.

The doctor sat back on the high backed wooden chair that he had bought on an expedition to Turkey many years before. It fit his posture well and added to the air of superiority that surrounded the man. His guests appeared comfortable and he was noted for being a generous host, although few employees were ever invited within the confidence of his own home. Nicholas was a regular in the Doctor’s household, but for Dr Danworth this was his very first invitation. Being the nervous man that he is, Dr Danworth had fretted and worried over the smallest details surrounding the invitation, dress code and correct manners and time and directions and so many other things that made his wife’s head spin on the way to their destination. It was her that spoke first.

“Money,” she murmured almost to herself so that the doctor barely heard.

“Good answer, my dear, although a little too easy. Money will make people do all sorts of terrible things, yes, it will, “he seemed to lose himself in a moment’s thought and then, “but it is not money I speak of. Although it can be the devil himself in so many ways, money won`t drive a man insane every time. There do exist, my dear, contrary to public opinion, those who care little for it or its benefits.”

“I’d say those are pretty hard to come by, my friend,” Nicholas said, smiling behind his glass and digging into a steaming dish, “are we talking medical or spiritual?”

“Well we are not talking Dr. Danworth’s surgical blade,” and they both shared a laugh that was only half-heartedly repeated by Dr Danworth himself. “What I speak of, Nicholas, is something that will break any man’s will, it cannot be measured by MRI’s or X-ray’s. I think we will all agree that it would be more spiritual than physical, no? We agree then, that some few people do not care as much for money and wealth as the rest of us?”

“Ummm,” Nicholas agreed, his mouth filled with food.

“Is it greed father?” his son asked him from across the table and the Doctor could see his child concentrating and following the conversation. Adam had already grown accustomed to his father’s way of speaking in riddles, preferring to engage rather than teach outright. Good, he thought, he will learn something I hope.

“No Adam, although greed is a mother to many, many evils. It will break empires and whole nations and make pigs of even the best people. But it is not greed I speak of either. I speak of an idea so abstract that we can never really grasp its meaning, a reality so elusive that it causes men to throw away whole fortunes and lifetimes as if at a whim.” The Doctor, being private and cautious as a way of life, was a man of great responsibility and bold action. He was a self made man by all accounts and had worked hard to maintain his family’s stature and this determination acquired him a reputation for being a deep thinker and problem solver. Many a dinner guest had enjoyed his light humour and interesting conversation.

Nicholas broke off from a whisper shared with Dana and said, “I find it interesting that everyone seems to immediately think of negative things. Money, hate, greed. Could it not be a pleasant thing? Or an obligation perhaps?” Nicholas was a methodical thinker and liked to play the role of the devil’s advocate who tackled each problem by first turning it on its head. He was often the voice of reason in the surgery room, preferring caution to immediate action.

“Well said, my friend, so which is it you say?” replied the host, knowing that his friend played along. He saw that across the table and amidst sips of wine and forkfuls of food, his guests were busily considering the options. Even Dr Danworth, who was not the easiest conversationist, seemed to be mildly interested. Those who knew him well, Nicholas, Dana, even their daughter, recognized now that there was a point in this story that the doctor wished to make to them all. He rarely spoke at such length without aim.

“How about loyalty? That can cause the downfall of a man and it is a somewhat abstract concept is it not?” Nicholas ventured. Before the Doctor could reply, Dr Danworth decided to join the conversation from the other side of the table, where he had been nervously picking at his plate and listening in absently thus far.

“There is not much that is abstract about loyalty. True, it is not tangible and sometimes even illogical, but loyalty does not drive a man to insanity,” and he paused for a moment, “although it does make for sometimes odd decision-making.” He raised his glass in salute as if by that one comment he had paid his dues to the gathering and they all followed, enjoying the taste of fine wine. Although it was not a question, all their heads turned once again to the Doctor.

From his position at the head of the table, the Doctor took a mental note of the reactions he saw poised before him. He prided himself on reading people remarkably well and could see that his long time confidante Nicholas was assessing the Doctor’s aim and had already decided to play along. They knew each other well enough to carry out whole conversations that were seemingly not related but all the while each playing off the other until finally they reached a common goal. Good, Nicholas knows where I’m going, the Doctor thought to himself.

Danworth is a vain man, the thought came naturally to him, as if sent by an unknown messenger in his mind. His powers of observation were abnormally sharp and had led to his swift rise and reputation as a professional who did not miss a detail. The Doctor naturally used the same talent to discover people’s tendencies, their weaknesses, and most importantly, their aspirations. It helped him inspire the people around him. He loves to be right, the Doctor realized as he watched Danworth place his wife’s hand squarely on the table in front of him rather than hold it, then pick up his fork again.

As if on an unheard cue, Mrs Danworth said, “Come now Doctor, won’t you tell us the story,” and retreated again into her chair.

“How do you know I haven’t started already? What is a story, after all, but a collection of happenings and thoughts and opinions?” he replied.

“Daddy, are you a philosopher?” his son suddenly asked from across the table where he had been steadfastly following his father’s every word, to the great joy of the man who appreciated the natural curiosity in his son’s eyes. Before he could answer the question, Nicholas spoke up, placing his now empty glass on the table.

“Your father is a philosopher of the very best kind, he does not know it!” and roaring laughter followed, the wine having an effect now on the adults who were having their third round of the deep red drink. Even Dr Danworth seemed to be lighter and more attentive, although his wife and child were still more subdued than the usual. They did not really join in the conversation, except to throw in a word here or there, and that much was apparent to all the other guests.

Before being seated for dinner, when Nicholas and the Doctor had met earliest for a scotch and somber business conversation, Nicholas had told the Doctor of the most unfortunate circumstances that found his associate Dr Danworth on verge of leaving his wife and home of 24 years for another, younger woman. Nicholas described their grief avidly with the knowledge of a man who had witnessed the real distress of a woman scared of losing her husband. He told the Doctor how Mrs Danworth and her daughter had together pleaded with him to talk some sense into the man, believing that a colleague’s opinion may affect Dr Danworth enough to provoke thoughts of his image and social status. Nicholas further explained that he did not know how to breach the matter with Dr Danworth, who was a reserved man that did not appreciate much personal talk, and Nicholas being a rather technical man found such an emotional subject a difficult one to approach. Between the two of them, they recognized immediately that the Doctor, also being the host of the evening and certainly held in high esteem by the entire staff at the hospital, was a more eloquent speaker and delicate problem solver. So the Doctor told Nicholas not to worry and to think no more of the matter. He would find a way to advise their friend without offending his conservative nature.

“Son, I am not a philosopher, I am a doctor. But all jokes aside, I am just a man who observes very closely what goes on about him. You should remember that. We should not only learn from our mistakes, we should learn from the mistakes of everyone around us, eh?” he moved towards another sip of wine and then realizing that the glass was nearly empty, refilled his glass and passed the bottle along.  They were all attentive again, not having to be told that the good Doctor was back to his riddle once more.

“Listen to me well,” and he fixed his piercing blue eyes directly on Dr Danworth across the table, who realized he was under attention and fixed his spectacles, “I speak of love.” And they all immediately noticed his serious, deep tone of voice. The kind he used at home or at the hospital when he wanted everyone to listen, to teach or command. His eyes caught those of his wife then and they shared a moment of understanding. She was the only person in the room who he was sure already held the answer to all his questions.

“I will repeat my question again, lest you forget it: what do you know of that can push a man to the highest peaks of achievement and bring him all the way back down again? What do you know of that can drive a perfectly normal man to the edge of insanity?” He saw that the words had an immediate effect on everyone at the table, including the children but especially the elder ones.

“The love of a son or daughter. The love of a wife or mother. The passionate love of youth,” and he squeezed his wife’s hand tightly,” and worst of all, the fake love of lust.” With that he broke the eye contact he had held with Dr Danworth while he spoke. The action itself had an effect on the man who found himself in somewhat of a trance as he felt the heaviness of the Doctor’s lasting gaze lift and struggled with the implications of why he was suddenly in the spotlight. The wine worked to delay his thoughts while he pondered what the Doctor was trying to tell him.

As he spoke those words, the Doctor couldn’t help but notice how instinctively the daughter and mother shared a glance, and Nicholas and his wife, then with their daughter. As if a stack of dominoes had been tipped to tumble, one by one the guests at his table followed his words and turned to their immediate loved ones. It’s crazy, we are all in love with someone but it’s the last thing that comes to mind, he thought to himself, we really are odd creatures. His eyes caught those of his wife then and they shared a moment of understanding. He turned then back to Dr Danworth seated opposite him and upraised the man’s reaction to his diatrebe about love. After all, the entire show was for his benefit. He hoped that his comments would get the point across to his employee and saw the whole thing as the possibility of deflecting a long and tedious break up that always left broken homes in its wake. Although he did not particularly harbour any affections for the doctor or his wife, or their superbly quiet daughter,  he did like to see stability in his hospital and plus, he had promised Nicholas to intervene. So he decided to really drive the message home.

“You said that loyalty does not drive a man to insanity, Dr Danworth?” and went on before the man could reply, but he was pleased to see that Danworth was quick to alertness. He did not seem so affected by the wine now and the Doctor really began to think that the man had caught on to his subtle attempt at advice, “but loyalty can be interpreted as an act of love. What would you do Mrs Danworth if, God forbid, your husband and lovely daughter were suddenly taken away from you? If all those years were erased as if they never happened?” he saw the sudden tension enter her frame and a gleam of understanding. Good, she finally gets it, he thought.

With tears brimming her eyes, and to her credit there was true sincerity in her manner, Mrs Danworth turned to her husband beside her, looked him squarely in the eyes, and whispered, “I would just shrivel up and die”. There was a long, lingering moment of silence as they all recognized the significance of the moment. Nicholas, of course, had already told his wife and agonized with her over his need to intrude on the Danworths’ lives. It was her, in fact, who had suggested he speak to his friend to intercede in his capacity as their employer.

“You see, Dr Danworth,” and he paused to take up his own wife’s hand once again,” there is nothing harsher about the reality of love than the lack of it.”